Love Song No. 3

L
1.
i'm crazy bout that chile but she gotta go.
she don't pay me no mind no mo. guess her
mama was right to put her out cuz she
couldn't do nothin wid her. but she been
mine so long. she been my heart so long
now she breakin it wid her bad habits.
always runnin like a machine out of control;
always lookin like some wild woman trying
to get some place she ain't never been to.
always threatenin me wid her looks.
wid them eyes that don't blink no mo.

i'm crazy bout her though, but she got to go.
her legs walkin with death every day and
one day she gon cross them right in front of
me and one of us will fall.
here she cum openin the do. comin in wid
him. searchin the room with them eyes that
usta smile rivers, searchin for sumthin to
pick up sumthin to put her 18 years into.
how can i keep welcomin her into my house? how
can i put her out the way her mama did
when she 16 years old and fast as lightnin?
she still got baby fat on her cheeks.
still got that smile that'll charm the drawers
off ya. hee hee hee.


2.
it's gittin cold in here. that's a cold
wind she walkin with. that grandbaby of mine.
rummagin the house wid her eyes.
rummagin me wid her look.

where you been to girl? been waitin for you
to come home. huh. how you be walter?
you looking better today girl. marlene
baby we need to talk. we need to sit
down and talk bout what you doin
wid yo life, i ain't gon be here forever. but
this money i give you every day.
this money you usin to eat up your bones every day.
this money you need mo of each day is
killin you baby. let me help you outa
this business you done got yo self into.
let me take you to the place miz jefferson
took her son to. you too young and pretty
and smart to just spend yo days walkin
in and out of doors.
yes. i has yo money. yes. i be here when
you come back. but. but. but. alright. Here's
10 dollars. from now on out jest 10 dollars
outa yo mama's insurance money.
that all you need to waste each day on
that stuff. jest 10 dollars. no. i'm not
foolin girl. jest 10 dollars.


3.
what i remember bout her wuz
she was so fat. such a fat baby.
wid smiles. creases. all over her body.
her mama had to work weekends
so she stayed wid me and i sang
and played the radio for her and
the smiles multiplied on her body.
jest one big smile she wuz.
harlem ain't no place to raise a
child though, the streets promise so
much but they full of detours fo
young girls wid smiles on they
bodies. i usta sit on the stoop and
watch her jump doubledutch. her
feet bouncin in and out of that
rope like a ballerinas. i could see
two of her inside that rope she
went so fast. multiplyin herself
on these harlem streets outloud. hee hee hee.
she usta run so fast i couldn't get
these old legs of mine to keep up wid her.
i called out: marlene baby. you jest
remember to stop at the corner. you jest
remember to stop fo you git hit by one
of them cars. you jest remember to stop.


4.
Stop it now girl. i ain't studyin you.
stop shovin me. stop it now. you ain't
gittin no mo money. jest the ten dollars.
you got to have sumthin for when you
older. this insurance money your mama
left is you security. yo future.
stop it now girl fo you hurt yoself
help me up offa this floor and put
down that hammer girl. ahahahah.
ahahahahahah. don't hit me no mo marlene.
i got to stand up, move
towards her try to touch her wid these
hands that worked in every house in Bklyn
and Longisland to give her them pretty
dresses she usta wear. heeheehee.
i got to try to turn toward her babyfat.
stop it. marlene. AHAHAHAH.
holy jesus. jesus it hurts. holy jesus.
she see me cryin now she gon stop.
she gon remember when i picked her up from her tricycle
and her head wuz bleedin and i run
her to harlem hospital movin like a madwoman
she gon remember how i held
her tears in my dress.
she gon remember how her arms reached out
to me when the doctor gave her them stitches.
i jest gon reach up to her arm with that hammer.
give me you arms again baby. it's you granmama.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
ohmyjesuswhyhasyouforsakenus?
huh? nobodygonrememberherwhenimgone.
theyonlygonseeherwhitebonesstretchedout
againsttheskynobodygonrememberher
younglegsrunningdownlenoxavenuelessenido
marlenebabygivemeyoarms . . . ahahah.
nobody gon remember me . . .
445
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