I was Little Albert.
 Nine months old in the famous film.
 In a white cotton nightie, on a lab
 table sitting upright
 facing a camera.
 remember me? Sure.
 You do.
 First, you saw that I was a “curious” baby.
 You saw that I blinked and stared
 with all the intensity of an infant-brain
 eager to suck into its galaxy of neurons
 all of the world. You saw that
 I was you.
 You saw that I was a “fearless” baby.
 You saw that I was not frightened
 of a burning newspaper held before me
 at an alarmingly close range.
 Though indeed my rapt infant face
 expressed the classic wariness of our species.
 Next, you saw that I was not frightened
 of a frisky monkey darting close about me
 on a leash. You saw
 that I was not frightened
 by a large dog brought close to me
 nor by a quivering rabbit, nor
 a small white rat—
 nor even a Santa Claus mask
 worn by a menacing male figure
 clad in white, shoved close
 to my infant face.
 You saw that I was attracted to the small white rat.
 You saw that I reached out to touch the small white rat.
 And as I reached for the small white rat
 behind my head came an explosion of noise—
 the shock of it sent me sprawling, cringing,
 face contorted in terror, mouth
 a perfect O of anguish, howling—
 as the experimenter John Watson struck
 a metal pipe with a hammer.
 What a shock!—how terror
 rushed through me. How
 desperately I crawled
 to escape almost toppling
 off the edge of the table—
 except adult hands restrained me.
 Children naturally fear loud noises.
 children naturally fear surprises.
 Children naturally fear the unknown.
 Children can be taught to fear the known.
 The second experiment was one month later.
 No escape for me for I was Little Albert.
 Grim as a little gargoyle
 in white cotton nightie able
 to sit upright though now wary,
 distrustful. No joy in my little body
 as (again) a small white rat
 was introduced to me. You saw
 how this time I shrank away. How
 this time there was terror in my face.
 How this time I did not reach
 with infant eagerness for the small white rat
 for I’d learned to fear and hate
 the small white rat. And again
 (you saw) how the very presence
 of the small white rat
 precipitated a deafening clamor
 as John Watson another time
 struck a metal pipe
 with a hammer again, again and
 again behind my head for
 who was there
 to stop him? In this way
 establishing on film
 how (baseless) fear can be instilled
 in a subject where fear had
 not previously existed and
 how memory of this (baseless) fear
 will endure contained
 in the unfathomable brain.
 How I cried and cried! As if
 I’d known that my mother had
 received but one dollar for
 the use of me in John Watson’s psych lab
 in the experiment that would destroy me
 and make John Watson famous.
 For in the alchemy of my brain
 my fear of a small white rat
 had become generalized
 and now (as Watson ably demonstrated)
 I feared the monkey, the dog, the rabbit
 equally though each was unaccompanied
 by a clanging hammer.
 Now I feared the menacing figure
 in the Santa Claus mask as if
 understanding that Santa Claus
 was my tormentor. Cried
 and cried and could not be
 consoled, even a woman’s
 fur coat terrified me for
 how could I trust softness?
 Sudden movements, sounds
 behind my head—
 the unexpected ...
 Classic Pavlovian conditioning. 
 Bedrock of  behavioral psychology.
 Brilliant pioneer John Watson!
 You are wondering: did John Watson
 decondition me? No. He did not.
 Did another experimental psychologist
 decondition me? No. He did not.
 Ask me what was the remainder of my life.
 Ask me did I adjust to life after the
 infamous experiment. Ask me
 did I overcome my terror of animals?—
 the answer is not known for
 I died of hydrocephalus at age six.
 All this was long ago. Things are different now.
 John Watson would not be allowed to terrorize
 Little Albert in his famous experiment now.
 Ours is an ethical age.
 Or was it all a bad dream? Were you deceived?
 You were Little Albert? You were conditioned
 to fear and hate? You were conditioned to
 thrust from you what you were meant to love?
 You were the victim? You were the experimental subject?
 You were Little Albert, who died young?



















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