Cancer, or, The Crab

C
Moonpoison, mullock of sacrifice,
Suffuses the veins of the eyes
Till the retina, mooncoloured,
Sees the sideways motion of the cretin crab
Hued thus like a tortoise askew in the glaucous moonscape
A flat hot boulder it
Lividly in the midst of the Doldrums
Sidles
The lunatic unable to bear the silent course of constellations
Mad and stark naked
Sidles
The obol on an eyeball of a man dead from elphantiasis
Sidles
All three across heaven with a rocking motion.
The Doldrums: 'region of calms and light baffling winds near Equator.'
But the calms are rare
The winds baffling but not light
And the drunken boats belonging to the Crab Club
Rock hot and naked to the dunning of the moon
All in the pallescent Sargasso weed
And windbound, seeking distraction by the light of deliverance
For
What are we but the excrement of non-existent noon?
(Truth like starlight crookedly)
What are we all but 'burial grounds abhorred by the moon'?
And did the Maoris die of measles? So do we.

But there is no snow here, nor lilies.
The night is glutinous
In a broad hearth crisscross thorn clumps
Smoulder: distant fireback of copse
Throws back silence: glassen ashes gleam in pond
The constellations which have stopped working (?)
Shimmer. No dead leaf jumps.
On edge of lawn a glowworm
Hangs out its state-recognized torchlamp
Blocks of flowers gape dumb as windows with blinds drawn
And in the centre the rugate trees
Though seeming as if they go up in smoke
Are held like cardboard where they are.
Bluehot it is queer fuel to make the moon move.

Agesias said: 'Nero was an artist because he murdered his mother
Sensibility (subliminal) is of more importance than moral obligation
(prandial).'
But Agesias paints cottages in watercolours and fears his own mother.
Barbarieus said: 'I am passionately in love with Gito who spurns me for
Praxinoê'
But until he saw them together he was merely disturbed by Gito's
eyelashes.
Galônus said: 'The subsequent shrivelling of an orchid doesn't alter the
value of its beauty.'
Decanus said: 'Joy in nothing. Either dies joy or what produced it.'
But Galônus is attractive to women, Decanus obese, poor, obtuse.
Epinondas said: 'I have been a liar, now no longer so.'
Zeuxias said: 'What I have always been, I shall remain, a fool."
Is it better to be self-deceived or lazy?
Epator was drunk for two days: Theodorus traced his disease to college,
Iphogenês saw god and died,
And so down the Alphabet, ate, and the Persian,
With variegated gutterals and sibilants, the Gaelic with dipthongs and
tripthongs,
Choctaw with three different clicks
Each letter is somebody
But the Crab is nobody
Nobody
Nobody
A ganglion of neurotic imitations
Composed of each letter in turn
Jointed by conflicts he does not want
A word that never existed with a sense nobody can understand.
Suffering for the sins his father refuse to commit
He sits and thinks about the twiddling toes of Gunerita
A boy-girl or girl-boy of an average pulchritude
Haunted by phantoms of his female self
Whom he has never seen but composed himself, thus:
Breasts of Augustina brains of Beatrice
Arms of Capucine on the motherliness of Dorothea
Eyes of Evelyn in the brow of Francesca
Fragrance of Gretchen with the understanding of Helen
This he desires, but despises:
Bhah!
Always sideways, crabs walk.

Either he is not fit for this world
Or this world not fit for him. But which?
After all this pain of development is there neither interval nor reward?
They lured him with promises,
Now it has all slipped sideways
What is the good, I ask you, of going into a melting-pot
If fated to melt again after getting out of it?
The answers are: He is not out of it
Determined to budge not from yon slippery rock
Not a yard, no, not an inch, no, nor a barleycorn's breadth
For chance is not blind but unimpedable
And we call it blind because
Since we frustrate it only by chance
We prefer to shut our own eyes.

The crab however crawls on.

He must therefore be a crab subnormal.
One day, one of his foreclaws, assembled as usual by many men,
Being longer than the other, turns and pinches his tentacles
With the other he pinches the persons that assembled the long one
Next day the short one, equally alien, is the longer
And the process is reversed.
In mass production one hand never knows
The evil the other is inspiring it to do
This is a heretic even to the faiths he fails to believe
So worthless, awkward, unintelligible,
The crab crawls on.

He has sufferd because he was ugly
Let him be cruel now that he is attractive
Caring not whether he fructifies cruelty or is merely hard on self.
We trap our goldfinch trapping out souls therewinged
Sacrifice our mad gods to the madder gods:
We hymn the two sons of Leda and Zeus Aegis-bearer
We don't. We drink and drivel. My
poor Catullus, do stop being such a
fool. Admit that lost which as you watch is
gone. O, once the days shone very bright for
you, when where that girl you loved so (as no
other will be) called, you came and came. And
then and there were odd things done and many
which you wanted and she didn't not want.
Yes indeed the days shone very bright for
you. But now she doesn't want it.
Don't you either,
booby. Don't keep chasing her. Don't live in
misery, carry on, be firm, be hardened.
Goodbye, girl: Catullus is quite hardened,
doesn't want you, doesn't ask, if you're not
keen—though sorry you'll be to be not asked.
Yes, poor sinner . . . what is left in life for
you? Who'll now go with you? Who'll be attracted?
Whom'll you love now? Whom say you belong to?
Whom'll you now kiss? Whose lips'll you nibble?
—Now you, Catullus! you've decided to be hardened.

How can I be hardened when the whole world is fluid?
O Aphroditê Pandêmos, your badgers rolling in the moonlit corn
Corn blue-bloom-covered carpeting the wind
wind humming like distant rooks
Distant rooks busy like factory whirring metal
Whirring metallic starlings bizarre like cogwheels missing teeth
These last grinning like the backs of old motor cars
Old motor cars smelling of tragomaschality
Tragomaschality denoting the triumph of self over civilization
Civilization being relative our to Greek
Greek to Persian
Persian to Chinese
Chinese politely making borborygms to show satisfaction
Satisfaction a matter of capacity
Capacity not significance: otherwise with an epigram
Epigrams—poems with a strabismus
Strabismus being as common spiritually as optically the moon
The moon tramping regular steps like a policeman past the houses of the
Zodiac
And the Zodiac itself, whirling and flaming sideways
Circling from no point returning through no point
Endlessly skidding as long as man skids, though never moving,
Wavers, topples, dissolves like a sandcastle into acidity.

Is there nothing more soluble, more gaseous, more imperceptible?
Nothing.
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