And with great fear I inhabit the middle of the night
 What wrecks of the mind await me, what drugs
 to dull the senses, what little I have left,
 what more can be taken away?
 The fear of travelling, of the future without hope
 or buoy. I must get away from this place and see
 that there is no fear without me: that it is within
 unless it be some sudden act or calamity
 to land me in the hospital, a total wreck, without
 memory again; or worse still, behind bars. If
 I could just get out of the country. Some place
 where one can eat the lotus in peace.
 For in this country it is terror, poverty awaits; or
 am I a marked man, my life to be a lesson
 or experience to those young who would trod
 the same path, without God
 unless he be one of justice, to wreak vengeance
 on the acts committed while young under un-
 due influence or circumstance. Oh I have
 always seen my life as drama, patterned
 after those who met with disaster or doom.
 Is my mind being taken away me.
 I have been over the abyss before. What
 is that ringing in my ears that tells me
 Woe to those homeless who are out on this night.
 Woe to those crimes committed from which we
 can walk away unharmed.
 So I turn on the light
 And smoke rings rise in the air.
 Do not think of the future; there is none.
 But the formula all great art is made of.
 Pain and suffering. Give me the strength
 to bear it, to enter those places where the
 great animals are caged. And we can live
 at peace by their side. A bride to the burden
 that no god imposes but knows we have the means
 to sustain its force unto the end of our days.
 For that is what we are made for; for that
 we are created. Until the dark hours are done.
 And we rise again in the dawn.
 Infinite particles of the divine sun, now
 worshipped in the pitches of the night.


















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