Orange peels, burned letters, the car lights shining on the grass,
 everything goes somewhere—and everything we do—nothing
 ever disappears. But changes. The roar of the sun in photographs.
 Inching shorelines. Ice lines. The cells of our skin; our meetings,
 our solitudes. Our eyes.
 A bee careens at the window here; flies out, released: a life
 without harm, without shame. That woman, my friend,
 circling against her life, a married life; that man, my friend,
 solitary, anarchic, driving away from home; them driving, to each
 other—
 I know, the hard, half-lost, knowing will; the cold first loneliness
 again, outside the commonweal, unmoving;
 But to say, I know—is there any touch in it?
 The words in my dream: “actuarial file.” Actuary, 1. A registrar or
 notary, who keeps records of the acts of a court ...
 To be there; to listen; not invade. Another solitude ...
 I watch her face. The lines of will, kindness, hunger. Silence. She
 moves from one thing to another thing in the kitchen, looks out
 the window at the other apartment windows ... A woman moves
 around, across the courtyard, making supper. How many people is
 she making supper for? Now the woman waters the plants. What
 is she thinking about. Her head, her arm, look peaceful ...
 “Everything that happens, happens once and for all. Is this true?
 If so, what then?”
 Yes. Your story; all of your hope; what you do, breaks. Changes.
 “If so, what then?” Nothing disappears. And you do last;
 The words in the open page of her notebook, I'm so cold. My
 head hurts.
 Come stay here, at my place, a while.—Someday we will be able
 to say, I did this thing; I did that other thing; I was that woman.
 Someday, we will be able to take it in, that violence, hold it in our
 hands ... And the ones who come after us, maybe they can
 understand us; forgive us; as we do forgive our parents, our
 grandparents, moving so distantly through their lives ... their
 silences ...
 And the ones we were with maybe our friendship can change,
 can mend ...
 Come stay here. Things change ...
 She stays home;
 Not to invade Wait, here, in the quiet




















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