The first thing I did against my will is see light.
Older, in my mother’s belly with a good mind,
I sometimes dreamed different kinds of darkness.
I kicked, had sweet dreams and nightmares
blind hallucinations, memories I can’t name
that still push me to act with unborn hands,
all before breathing.
What last thing will cross my mind
after last rights and wrongs?
I may feel love’s nuts and bolts unscrewing —
it’s best to be held tight. A pillow does not kiss.
May I never waver in peaceful unmindfulness.
I’ve seen passionate suffocation,
I’ve felt exquisite pain. Far better doggerel:
“Nurse, nurse, I’m getting worse!”
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