Hatred and vengeance, my eternal portion,
Scarce can endure delay of execution,
Wait, with impatient readiness, to seize my
Soul in a moment.
Damned below Judas: more abhorred than he was,
Who for a few pence sold his holy master.
Twice betrayed, Jesus me, the last delinquent,
Deems the profanest.
Man disavows, and Deity disowns me:
Hell might afford my miseries a shelter;
Therefore hell keeps her ever-hungry mouths all
Bolted against me.
Hard lot! encompassed with a thousand dangers;
Weary, faint, trembling with a thousand terrors,
I’m called, if vanquished, to receive a sentence
Worse than Abiram’s.
Him the vindictive rod of angry justice
Sent quick and howling to the centre headlong;
I, fed with judgment, in a fleshly tomb, am
Buried above ground.
20-01-2024 05:16:30
This poem evokes a strong sense of darkness and despair, with vivid imagery and emotions of hatred and vengeance. The speaker expresses a profound feeling of isolation and rejection by humanity and a higher power, feeling condemned by society and even by God.
The comparison to Judas, the ultimate traitor, emphasizes the speaker's feelings of being despised and forsaken. They see themselves as a truly wretched figure, betrayed not once, but twice - by both their own actions and by Jesus himself.